The more I look around nowadays, the more it becomes apparent to me that the Black community is in a state of emergency. While this may sound obvious to some, I believe many underestimate just how serious our condition is. Often we still find many of our families in disarray, Black male/female trust and unity at an all-time low, and our collective future seriously at stake as a result of inequities in financial and political power and misguided family values.

How do we combat these issues, one might ask? Well, since it's almost unanimous that a cohesive and nurturing family structure is essential to positive progress, one of the best things we can do is focus on rebuilding the respect and esteem that we used to have for our Black women. Simply put, our communities are doomed without their empowerment. A lot of brothers nowadays disrespect our sisters to the fullest with names like "bitch", "hoe", "chicken head" and "trick," and the frightening truth is that these so-called "terms of endearment" are fast becoming globally accepted ways of thinking and defining Black women. We hear them often in "gangsta" rap lyrics. Now it appears that an even more disturbing trend is developing.

It seems many females have begun singing and rapping about how much they want to be with gangstas, thugs, pimps, playas and ballaz - individuals who are often both physically and mentally abusive. Truth be told, aside from a select few, many don't even sing about wanting a real Black man anymore. An example of this is the recent Alicia Keys/Eve collaboration "Gangsta Love," which takes the hook from Yarborough & Peoples' classic "Don't Stop The Music" and twists it to glorify the warped desire of thug life. It's too bad that the song never alludes to the reality that most gangstas are users who only love themselves.

Equally disturbing is the fact that the conscious rapper Common used the same music and hook with Erykah Badu about 3 years ago and it got no radio play. Peep Common's lyrics in "All Night Long":

During divine hours, I use mind power to refine flower girls/ And make 'em feel like black pearls/ Get they minds off acrylic nails and the rap world/ It's a lot you can find in a lost black girl.

This song got no love at all on the radio, even though it's message is arguably good for all communities and has a strong, radio-friendly appeal.

Now lets examine Alicia Keys and Eve's lyrics (same beat and melody):

You know I see you an’ time and time you seem available/ Don't mean shit, I know these bitches wanna settle you/ Gotta say you on my short list of few/ Them other dudes is ok but I'm feelin’ you/ Want you in the best way what you gon’ do about it?/ Why don't you just test me you won't want to do without it/ Yo I'm comin’ at you hard bein’ a thug/ And I ain't givin' up ‘till I get that gangsta love, uh huh.

This track runs on MTV, BET and mainstream radio all day long. Why the focus on this message and not on Common's? Could it be that the entertainment "powers that be" would rather drive messages of irresponsibility home to our susceptible youth?

At least sisters like N’dambi and Angie Stone have respect for Black men on wax. Sadly, true love is a dying theme in our community, and it promises to cost us big in the long run.

This fact is that Black people in the United States and around the world have been and continue to be out-strategized, out-gunned, and out-maneuvered socially, politically, economically, and spiritually. We don't, as a collective, own the means to feed ourselves, clothe ourselves or hold any major piece of the technological revolution pie. Indeed, the boom in Silicon Valley came and went before most Black people in America even got on the Internet.

Fortunes are constantly being made and lost while many of us sit back blunted, drunk, or strapped with gats - all the while "keeping it real." Yeah, real dumb.

Meanwhile, Black people and others who buy our music are being served songs that anyone with even a modicum of common sense wouldn't let their kids listen to. The Lil’ Kims, Foxy Browns and Khias of the world do Black women little justice, as they further reinforce the "Black whore" stereotype originally introduced by the slave masters who used it as an excuse to rape female slaves on plantations.

Let me say this for the record, to the ladies, loud and clear: Please don't let Ja Rule, Puffy and old Biggie tracks make you think that real love means spending time in jail for your man, or catching bullets in his name. Don't get drawn in by Charlie Baltimore's lines in "Down Ass Bitch," which state:

I'm your bitch, the Bonnie to your Clyde/ It's mental, mash your enemies, we out in the rental/ I'm your bitch, niggas run up on ya/ Shift ya lungs, who's your organ donor?/ What they know about, extreme measures, I'm a ride/ With you and my baby 380 at my side/ And we lock the town, I'm as down as any thug/ My love, they gotta take us in blood, what?

It's a dead-end game. It seems Black people no longer need white people to hate, misguide, or degrade us anymore. We can do that on our own just fine.

Racist music by Skinheads often has the word "nigger" in it and never makes it to the mainstream air waves or record stores. But it has become socially acceptable for brothers and sisters to call one another "nigger" in our music all day long. More Black people have called me a "nigger" on wax or in person at Hip Hop shows than in all of my experiences with racism put together.

If anyone ever takes the time to document how many times Black people have used "nigger" and "bitch" on wax since, say, 1986, I bet the number would be astounding. Compare that to how many times Latin, Asian, European and other cultural music artists have referred to themselves by self-degrading slang. I believe that in 10-20 years from now we will see a negative sociological connection to the influence of rap music on our family structures. Indeed, the self-esteem of our children is at stake, and the foundation of our families hangs in the balance.

Think about how powerful a unified Black family must have been (and must be) for white slave owners to have spent hundreds of years working to keep us apart. I can only imagine the dignity and the selfless devotion our ancestors displayed for white people to create a science out of destroying our family unit.

Our cohesiveness is rooted in the Black woman being of sound mind, body, and spirit. It is also rooted in the Black man having the clarity of mind to recognize her innate value and know enough to help her cultivate her gifts. The Black woman has, across generations, surrendered not only her money, but her mind, body and soul nurturing and protecting the Black man. Yet, every generation, many brothers move farther and farther away from her mentally, spiritually and economically.

We need to get our shit together.

Sisters from this point forward need to raise the bar on the kind of men they allow to influence (and often inhabit) their households. No longer should they settle for irresponsible thugs, playas and ballers, but rather, they should do their best to hold out for a man who will not only love and respect her, but who will try to be a good provider and husband as well. A common recurring misconception many Black women today have is the idea of "changing" a brother once they’ve got him, or that having a child with him will help her keep him. Sadly, this is rarely the case. How many times have you actually heard of this happening? We know from experience it won't. Why try to reinvent the wheel?

Finally, try playing music other than rap in your household for a change. Buy roots reggae like Israel Vibrations, get some dancehall like Sizzla, bump some old James Brown and chill to some Smokey Robinson. Allow your children to take in the Afro rhythms of Nigeria's Fela Kuti, the smooth sounds of John Coltrane, and the soulful love of Dakota Stanton. Know that almost all music in America is rooted in Black origins, and that we need to expose our children to alternative messages by letting them hear and experience others with different reference points. Remember, it's all love, and it's all good.

Too many people are trying to be down with this "game." But after all the money is gone, and our communities lay in ruin with our families broken beyond belief - we’ll realize that we were the only ones playing.