With Hip Hop Appreciation Week's theme this year being "Gratitude," I would like to send out my thanks to the women of the world, especially Black women here in America, who have endured much mental, physical and spiritual pain. I would like to further send out my appreciation to the ancestors of all races and religions who tried to instill true family values in their children. Sadly today, many of the people within Hip Hop are actively hating on the ideas of marriage and family. I'm concerned that this trend will come back to haunt us in the years to come.

Many of the "men" in the Hip Hop community are shooting down real concepts of family. Too many of them are trying to be "playas," "pimps," and "G's."

In many respects, young men will always be young men. In America, the years between 18-25 are usually spent chasing women. However, the consequences of sexual activity are ignored by far too many of us. If we have any sense as men we will wise up to the responsibilities of marriage and fatherhood.

Many "men" today think they are maintaining their independence by "kicking tricks to the curb." They feel as though it's better to be a "baby daddy" than to be a real husband and father. What they don't realize is that this new wave of attacks on our family structures in Hip Hop are indirect attacks on God and our cultural traditions.

Many people today think of marriage as a government thang. In reality, it's not. It's a spiritual thang. Marriage is a testament before God. To attack it is to attack a sacred institution, as family is the foundation of all true civilizations. To be without it is to be truly lost in the world.

In Hip Hop, we talk about family, but often we don't mean it. We're quick to share hollow hugs and pounds, flash false peace signs and give high fives, but rarely are we truly serious about family. Before you write me off lets look at some of today's lyrics and think about their long-term implications.

On Fat Joe and R. Kelly's "We Thuggin'" Joey Crack says:

Fuck a bitch if she act too grown/ I don't need that shit, I got my wife at home.

Well, he should take his ass home to her. This is adultery, and this song gets rotation in the Bay almost hourly. What can we expect the kids who are 11, 12, 13 right now to be like growing up on music that encourages this type of mind set?

In another song "One Minute Man" by Missy feat. Jay Z, Jay says:

The dick too chubby, too much'll make you love me/ Now be a nice wifey and run home to your hubby/ Cause we, both knowin' what we doin' is wrong/ Don't forget to put your ring back on.

Again, this song gets major rotation, with a similar message.

Mobb Deep and 112 continue the trend, speaking in the same vein with the lyrics:

He expect to keep you locked with that five karat ring? Let's cop that old real while 112 sing.

These lyrics are of special note, because they look to disregard the symbol of what's real. The ring is only a symbol of the never-ending love between a man and a woman. It is not meant to keep one "locked down," but rather it is a symbol of devotion to God and one's spouse.

Some artist's even go so far as to suggest that questioning their negativity is out of order. Ja Rule warns his woman in the track "Always on Time" to:

Remind these bitches to mind they business/ Believe me, this pimp game is very religious.

Notice that he compared the "pimp game" to religion! We should have more respect for ourselves to not see the danger in these kinds of ideas circulating within our communities.

He continues on in "Between Me and You" by saying:

Let me handle my biz, it is what it is/ Niggas livin’ his life, and that's my bitch/ You know I gotta wife, let's keep this thing tight, baby.

Notice he says, "it is what it is." What it is, is adultery. Again, what messages are we instilling in our youth?

The message continues with songs like Trick Daddy's "That's Just My Baby's Daddy" and Dr. Dre's "Fuck You." By neglecting the cultural and spiritual paths that lead us to monogamous relationships, we are further fracturing the family structure in America. Some may argue that Hip-Hop doesn't create poor family values, and I agree, to a certain extent. But music is definitely influential. Know that if Hip Hop is the art we say it is, and if Hip Hop is as revolutionary as we claim it is, then we should take on the tasks of checking our beloved artists and helping to rebuild many of our dysfunctional family lives.

And what of the notion many Black men hold that Black women are "untrustworthy?" Bullshit. Who would be more trustworthy, another woman? With all of this women-hating going on, I'm beginning to question the manhood of many of these artists. God created us for one another. What would you prefer?

It goes both ways, too. Many bitter females should chill and not turn away every brother without jewelry or fancy cars. You're almost guaranteed to make all of the wrong moves for all of the wrong reasons if all you look for in a mate is material gain. In fact, chances are you'll find yourself alone and unhappy when the smoke clears.

We in the Hip Hop community have to learn to respect true love again. If we don't, we can only expect harder times ahead.

I recently saw a 10-year old girl I know watching a Snoop video with her mom and her mom's friend. Her mother turned to her adult friend while looking at Snoop and said, "Ooh, that Nigga right there, that's my baby daddy." The friend responded that she wanted Snoop to be her baby daddy and they had a play argument over it. The lady's daughter, looking to get in on the conversation, pointed to Dr. Dre and said, "Oh no, that's MY BABY DADDY." Imagine the horror. This little girl is growing up with no idea of what a healthy, respectable family life is about. She's missing out on seeing the value of men and women being unified spiritually and culturally. Both she and her mother would benefit from reading books like "The Miseducation of the Black Child" by Dr. Nathan Hare and Dr. Julia Hare, or "Black Men: Single Dangerous Obsolete" by Haki Madhubuti. Both books are a must for young men and women of all races and religions. Only by unlearning what we have learned about the value of family and relearning how to love ourselves and one another will we began to move forward.

In addition, we need to enrich our children with songs and entertainment that embrace family concepts. Songs like Common's "Retrospect for Life" speak volumes:

We talkin' spendin' the rest of our lives/ It's too many Black women that can say they mothers but can't say that they wives/ I wouldn't chose any other to mother my understanding/But I want our Parenthood to come from Planning

Why don't lyrics like these get more rotation? Is it because most of the people who dictate what gets played are mainly white males over 40 years of age - people who have no concern for our kids or our community?

KRS-One's "Brown Skin Woman" is another song that's big with beats and rhymes filled with respect for family that never gets played. When speaking of rappers, he says they:

Talk about they want to sex up and fill up your body/ But them not talk about peelin' off some money/ for the pumpin' onna bed, when you have the baby/Whatta'ya think can happen next?/ After you're done havin' sex?/ Too much of ignorance, not enough intelligence/ Me me not against sex, but too many DJ/ Talk sex but them not talk about the next day/Cause the next day them gone, and you sit alone.